My College Dining commons is, at this very moment, preforming debased and blasphemous acts with it’s pasta displays. Attached is my complaint letter. Be warned, their depravity knows no bounds, and what I write of their acts may shake you to your very core, but such perversion must be fought with stalwart hearts wherever it is found. I shall keep you posted on the aftermath if you are so inclined, fellow pastafarian
Noodly Yours,
Walter
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