Category Archives: Arts and Crafts

He Boiled For Your Sins

Thanks to Kaitlyn for this beautiful illustration:

Collander_med

*Update*

I got a surprising number of angry emails about this.  Surprising because while I can see how “He Boiled For Your Sins” could be viewed as making fun of the Christian “He Died For Your Sins”,  I know that there was no intention to offend.

We find the barrage of Jesus-on-a-cross imagery and “He died for your sins” propaganda tasteless and gaudy.  We find the concept of Original Sin offensive.  We believe it mocks rationality.

Most of all, we believe it’s a dangerous thing when religion is seen as above criticism or humor.  So while we’re aware that some of the things we say will offend, that’s not our intention – merely an accepted cost of the larger goal of shining light on what in our view is lunacy.  We can respect people and their beliefs *and at the same time* criticize what they send out into the world – there is no contradiction. 

A Mountain, a Midget and a Tree

young talent

Hi there.

My name is Robert, I’m 12 and I am a devout Pastafarian. I’ve created a piece of art detailing the first moments of creation. I’d be honored if you posted this on your wonderful website. Here it is, I hope you like it.

Very nice! I particularly like the FSM’s eyes – you captured His intense concentration at that crucial moment.

Noodly Ski Hat

Noodly-Ski-Hat

Steve sent us a picture of his new ski hat. I love it.

*Update*  Steve wrote instructions so you can make your own.

 

Instructions to make your own Noodly Ski Hat:

It’s easier than you might think – here’s a list of what you need:

Ingredients

  • Woolly hat, preferably a dark color. (I think mine was polyester rather than wool, see the comment on the letters below)
  • Noodly appendages. Two 12-packs of "chenille stems". Mine were 12 inches long, 15mm diameter.
  • Eyestalks. Chenille rope. This came as a long length, larger diameter than the stems. Cut to length.
  • Eyes. Come in packets of various sizes, mine were 1/2in diameter.
  • Meatballs. Brown colored pom-poms. Approx 3in diameter.
  • (optional) Meat sauce. One ball of red-brown "marinara" colored yarn or wool.
  • (optional) Iron-on fabric letters. Mine were 3/4in tall.
  • Rubber cement.
  • Needle and thread.

Most of the above should be available at your local craft store, I picked up mine at Hobby Lobby.

Construction (refer to the photo)

Eyestalks. Start by making the spiral at one end (the spiral provides a base to stick on the eyes). Then create the rest of the flat "U" shape and finish up with another spiral. Cut off any excess (see diagram). The wire in the material allows the eyestalks to stand upright and be pointed in any direction.

eyestalks

Attach the eyeballs with rubber cement. I put two at each end of the stalks, one on each side – his noodliness is all-seeing! Lay a book or two on top to clamp it down while the glue sets.

Attach meatballs and eyestalks. Lay the flat bottom part of the eyestalk assembly across the top of the hat. Take your needle and thread and attach the meatballs to the hat, while at the same time holding the eyestalks in place.

Add noodles! Poke the noodles into the hat from the outside. When halfway in, loop the noodle back on the inside and poke it back out, half an inch or so to the side of where it went in. Poke the noodles in all around the hat, but close to the meatball/eyestalk combination, i.e near the top of the hat. At the end of each noodle fold it back on itself for the last quarter inch or so to prevent any sharpness from the end of the wire injuring those being touched by his noodly appendage (see diagram). The wire in the chenille stems means they will keep their shape and they can be arranged to your satisfaction, or left to the rigors of normal wear.

Noodle

Add sustenance. While being anointed by his noodly presence it is only right to provide him sustenance. Loosely wrap the yarn around the hat multiple times (I think we did 30-40 wraps), and secure it loosely in place at four points around the hat with needle and thread.

Add letters. I turned up the bottom inch and a half of the hat brim and ironed on the letters. The instructions called for a hot iron but this will melt, or seriously flatten, polyester fibers in the hat itself. Experiment with lower temperatures that still allow the letters to adhere, if you have a polyester hat. Once again I added letters both front and back so that all could revel in his noodliness.

Feel free to experiment with the ingredients and construction, depending on personal preference and availability. My thanks go to Sue for her help with all aspects of construction that involved needle and thread!

Ramen

You can download Steve’s instructions as a PDF here:

skihatpdf

 

Thanks, Steve!