While doing research at the National Institutes of Health website, I came across this photograph. Despite it being labeled as "Treponema," I knew it could only be the Noodly Master, and some organism that causes Syphilis. Here he is, in all of his magnificence–a perfect specimen. Ramen.
I find it difficult to believe the FSM causes Syphilis but I can’t deny your evidence.
His noodly appendages have appeared to me. I wish to share this: in millions of my cells, your cells, and every other living things’ cells a process called mitosis is occurring. The Flying Spagetti Monster manifests His self and touches us ALL with love and grace.
President of the American Atheist Group, David Silverman, went on the O’Reilly Factor to talk about the group’s “You KNOW they’re all SCAMS” billboard campaign. Bill O’Reilly said it was insulting to religious people. Silverman says it’s the truth and how can the truth be offensive.
I will admit I laughed when I heard about the billboard. I can imagine the response it will get in Alabama. Anyone remember the Top Gear episode where they did a road trip through the south and wrote controversial slogans on each others cars? Made me think of that.
I will also admit I have a grudging respect for Bill O’Reilly – because as much of a pompous ass he is, and as often as he is wrong about so many things, I find him intellectually honest. I believe he believes what he is saying, and you can’t say that about everyone. [Edit – I got a lot of flack for that statement. Maybe deserved. But still I believe there is a difference between what he is doing and what Glenn Beck is doing. Both are asses but I believe O’Reilly sleeps well at night and doesn’t believe himself to be a fraud.]
But here is one of those things O’Reilly says that leaves you stunned. There is proof of (presumably a personal Christian) God because of Tides:
O’REILLY: I’ll tell you why it’s not a scam: the tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that.
SILVERMAN: The tide goes in, tide goes out?
O’REILLY: The water, the tide comes in, it goes out, Mr. Silverman. It always comes in, it always goes out. You can’t explain that.
Here’s the video:
In response, friend of the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mr. Stephen Colbert, had Astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson on The Colbert Report to give a scientific explanation for the tides:
As always, the problem with the false religion/science dichotomy leaves the masses ignorant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s influence over everything.