Phillip Schiefer and Erik Pollard sent me this FSM holiday card. I like it.
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Category Archives: General
Thanks to Jordan Fleitz for sending this to me. If you look closely, there’s a midget in the background.
At our office Christmas party, we had the surprise to be visited by one very special character: the Christmas Pirate! This guy was in for some plunder, but in a strange way: he would ask someone if he or she would prefer a new gift from his lot or rather steal another one’s gift that was already given; if the person chose the latter, he would then use his mighty weapon to threat the other poor chap to give away his gift (but was offered a new gift from his lot as a replacement)! And all of this was apparently supervised by Our Noodly Master Who was quietly sitting on the Christmas Pirate shoulder!
Fortunately, pictures were taken that prove I am not lying; I attached some of them to the present e-mail.
So, I would like the people to be warned about the existence of this new type of Santa and tell them that maybe milk and cookies won’t do it this year…
Ramen!
-Eric Martel
I am a very loyal follower to the FSM and a very peaceful pastafarian. However, something has made me quite upset lately. I was telling my classmates about Him and all of His wonderful doings while of course while wearing my eye patch and a pirates jacket. You know the basics. I was doing this because of my religious beliefs, as that’s what the FSM wishes we do. You know of course that pirate garb is not an option. I was just about done when my teacher calls from her desk if my eye patch is a medical thing. I, being loyal stated that it was for my religious beliefs and it’s not an option for me. She again tells me to take it off and I again explain it to her. Then she says if I refuse once more then she would send me to the principles office. I was enraged! The school policy says that the school can’t do anything about religious beliefs or go between them. I couldn’t go to the principles office because he would call my mom and explain it. She hates Pastafarians like me. Instead of speaking out against my teacher, I grabbed my gospel of the FSM and went over and showed her how this is actually true. She took it as a joke and took my eye patch. That is the same as taking a Christians cross.
This needs to be addressed. People are unaware that we are a serious religion and take it as a joke.
I am asking you to help me get FSMism recognized in my Middle school. I don’t necessarily need a class, although that would be nice. Maybe just a FSM awareness lecture. -Jeffrey
I suggest a well-reasoned letter to the teacher, principal, superintendent, and your local ACLU. Explain that it’s not your intention to make a scene, only to carry out your constitutionally-guaranteed religious rights in a non-disruptive manner. Perhaps suggest that other religious tokens be banned as well, Christian crosses, Jewish yarmulkes, etc.